


Everything and Not Enough

by sophie_448



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-09
Updated: 2008-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 18:34:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13932870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophie_448/pseuds/sophie_448
Summary: Steve curses the fact that their personal lives are a perfect mirror of their professional lives.





	Everything and Not Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve written Chris/Steve in a J2 context, but this is my first solo outing with them. Beta’d by the wonderful [](https://celtic-cookie.livejournal.com/profile)[celtic_cookie](https://celtic-cookie.livejournal.com/)

 

Steve sometimes feels like he’s trying to grab onto bits and pieces of Chris that keep slipping away. Because Steve – he’s all about the music. It’s his one true and abiding passion in life and he gives it everything he’s got. And half the time it fucks him over.

Chris, though. Chris is all over the place. Bouncing back and forth between music and acting. Too much energy and too short an attention span to devote all his time to any one thing. And of course the fucker’s good at all of it. Everything he touches turns to gold.

Steve curses the fact that their personal lives are a perfect mirror of their professional lives. He’s been in love with Chris since the moment they met. Anybody else just pales in comparison. And Chris loves him too.

When Steve was still the shiny, new thing, Chris was one hundred percent focused on him and Steve thought he could die happy wrapped up in Chris’ arms. He still thinks that, but now he’s got competition for those arms.

There’s nobody else that Chris is serious about the way he is with Steve, but there are others. Random hookups in bars, casual fuck buddies in a lot of the cities they frequent. It’s killing Steve slowly, but he thinks if he left it would kill him quicker.

When he actually walks in on Chris with another guy, he’s done. It feels like ripping a vital organ out with his bare hands, but he tells Chris it’s gotta be all or nothing.

Chris just gives him that perplexed look and says, “Baby, you know those other guys don’t mean anything.”

Steve sighs, feeling like somebody’s just dropped a lead weight on his shoulders. It’s a lost cause and he thinks maybe he’s known that for a good, long while.

While he resolutely packs his things, Chris tries to convince him to stay. He tries with words, but Steve knows the shadowed, hidden meanings behind them. He tries with a hand down the front of Steve’s pants.

Steve’s being strong, but he can’t resist that. If he’s never going to have it again, he figures he should let himself have it one last time tonight. When Chris is moving inside him, he tries not to think about how it’s going to be without this.

When he comes with Chris’ hand wrapped around his dick, he blessedly doesn’t think at all. Then Chris falls asleep, face pressed in between his neck and shoulder. Steve lets himself stay like that for maybe an hour, savoring the feel of Chris warm against his side, his breath cool across his skin.

Then he gets up and showers quickly. Chris sleeps hard after sex, so he knows he won’t hear it. Steve dresses and then stands by the edge of the bed, looking down at the love of his life.

Finally, he gathers the willpower to move. He drops a soft kiss on Chris temple, then hefts his bags and walks out the door without looking back.

And the world doesn’t end.


End file.
